So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
