just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
