pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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