you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
