fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
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There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I can't put those talents on a resume
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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