So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
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You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
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I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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