would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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