Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize