Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
