once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
