so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
