Kareoke will never be a sober sport
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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