you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
