i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
