You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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