Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
