You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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