Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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