we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
