he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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