I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
