is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
