Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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