It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
