Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Is Oprah even human
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize