i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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