porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
