can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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