I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
