I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
