I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
