help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
