Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
