My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize