Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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