Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
