About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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