They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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