Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
