tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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