sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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