Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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