i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
