Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
