toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This is my gift to your gina
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize