He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
