Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just want nice things and good sex
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
