Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
