and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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