you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
