She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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