I want to make a zoo with you.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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