I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
