I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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