sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
