that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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