what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
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i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
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at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Dick very happy bro
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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