3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
