You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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