Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My butt remains clenched, sir.
PANTIES FOUND
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